I guess it became time for me to write again, as I'm not sure anyone even reads this, or why. Major life changes happen, and attitude is critical to making them positive. How do you do that when your wife of 32 years deserts you? She passed away after several weeks of agonizing pain from her multiple myeloma. Grieving takes many forms and on a psychological level I had heard of the cycle including anger. That's definitely part of it as it really does feel like she's deserted me. Her cancer was turning the bone lesions of her first bout into fractures. The pain was unmanageable, despite narcotics that seemed beyond tolerable. Her oncologist finally determined she should be hospitalized solely to better manage her pain. Her cancer wasn't responding to the chemo and we had already been in contact with hospice care. I've received all the love and support from family and friends that one can imagine. Two brothers, two kids, loving friends all there in support. I truly am a lucky man. John has collected financial information and I've now got an advisor whom I know I can trust and whom I know is smarter than everyone else. So now I'm in an empty house, except for the two cats. Our old dog Java decided it was time for her to go too, so she shat in the house a couple of times to remind us how old and feeble she was. Having a vet come out to the house and having family comforting the pet as the drugs take affect is the best goodbye available. June 11th just before midnight she cried a tear. Michelle has been at her side, taking her turn telling Betty how much she was loved, and that it was time to go. It seemed as if Betty finally had a moment of lucidity, too weak to speak, she opened her eyes and tried to lift her head. At that point, her daughter, her son, her sister and her husband were all at her side, thanking and loving her all that we could. My primary thought was the need for passage of a death with dignity law. Her last several weeks were an exercise in pain, heavy narcotics and suffering. It's now been three weeks and my grieving is all but over. I was a basket case for several days and slowly got better each day. I decided my lifestyle of a few years ago when Betty was still working had been a good one. I was at the golf course almost every day, walking 18 holes and seemingly in the best physical condition of my life. My weight was at its lowest and motion was easier, moving around what felt like a significantly lighter body. I'm about 235 now and would like to drop about 20 lbs. I expect to do it, too. Three days this week and each finish validates that it's good for me. I've shot 86, 80 and 78 those three days and it doesn't feel at all fluky. My game has improved and with it, my confidence in my game, and that's the best way to get better. So now I've emailed and communicated with an old friend whom I expect to meet with after decades and see how we feel about each other. It's been a difficult spring for old ladies in my network of awareness. Recently deceased in addition to Betty: Norma, the woman who ran a daycare in her rundown Watsonville rental and provided nurturing to our kids from the time they were babies until they started school just around the middle of May. Holli, my old friend Jody's wife of 40 years whom Betty and I spent time with when we were in Rohnert Park before they moved to Oregon, a little later in May. Betty's Aunt Shirley, her mom's sister, who was 91 and whom we got to visit just a few days before she passed, just last Sunday. I know as we get older that more of the people we've known for all these years will eventually pass. The key must be that it's them, not me. I've got things going very well and still feel like a lucky man. No good way to close here, but that's enough for now.